“My opinion is that a man should know everything as far as in his power lies, that he should complete his cycle of experience, and, one science being as necessary as another, it behooves him, according to his means, to acquaint himself with all.”
– William Makepeace Thackeray, Barry Lyndon
For the past 20 months I had a well defined identity. I was a member of the Toronto Blue Jays organization. Everything I did, most things I thought, and nearly everything I said and wrote were on the behalf of the club.
I was the voice of the Dunedin Blue Jays. It was a role I not only embraced, but one that defined my very being.
When I went to bed I was thinking about the Blue Jays. When I woke up I was thinking about the Blue Jays. When I ate, showered, shaved, and even on the rare occasions that I went out, I was thinking about my team. I even dreamt, consistently, about the Blue Jays.
After 20 months, however, the Blue Jays were done with me. It didn’t matter that I had doubled the Dunedin franchise’s visibility, created a broadcast operation, and sacrificed my life as I knew it for them. That was it.
My contract had expired, and instead of offering me a full time position I was discarded – along with two other exceptionally talented colleagues – like last week’s newspaper.
See ya.
Fortunately it wasn’t a surprise, and I truly believe it was for the best. In fact, three weeks into my temporary retirement from baseball I am happier than I’ve ever been in my life.
And I’m busy as hell.
In addition to my dog walking, Homeland and netflix watching, I have taken on three part-time jobs – one old and two new – that have reminded me that there is a whole word out there beyond baseball.
For starters, I was welcomed back with open arms to the gas station I worked at in high school, summers during college, and most recently the fall before I moved to Dunedin. It’s a family owned and operated Mobil, a neighborhood staple, and a place I would be proud to work at until the day I die. The joy I find in filling people’s tires with air and squeegeeing their windshields is as great as it is puzzling, but hey, it makes me feel good and that’s good enough for now.
As for the new jobs, I have been given an incredible opportunity to try my hand at teaching and fulfilled a lifelong dream by working at an independently owned local art-house movie theater.
The Edward Brooke Charter School in East Boston, in its inaugural year, provides a progressive and challenging environment for its roughly 180 students – comprised of kindergarteners, first graders and fifth graders. Many of these students are the children of immigrants (if not immigrants themselves), and many speak Spanish at home while learning and working in English at school. As a volunteer I have been working closely with the ELL (English Language Learning) Coordinator and staying after school as a tutor for students who get a little extra help with their homework.
After my first day I had a whole new respect for just what an incredibly challenging job teachers have, and after my first two weeks I have found that I really enjoy working with the students and seeing how their minds operate. I have also identified some gaps in my own knowledge (I often receive more help than I give on 5th grade math and science homework), which has been a humbling and exciting little twist.
Finally there’s the Dedham Community Theatre. A local landmark, this theatre has been in operation since 1927, and for a former film major and current film lover, being a part of it is a very special experience. While cleaning toilets and sweeping up popcorn is a serious departure from the TV and Radio appearances I was calling work a few months ago, I find some great pleasure in knowing that I can still feel good about getting an important (if not glamorous) job done.
So after all that, where am I now? Who am I now that I’ve lost my identity?
Well it depends on the day. Some days I’m Mr. Durham the tutor. Other days I’m the guy pumping your gas. Yesterday I was changing the message on the DCT marquee. Some days I’m two of these identities. It’s all exciting and new, and wildly different from the world and being I had occupied for the past 20 months.
As my friend James aptly put it, between the theatre and gas station I have the two best jobs a high school kid could ever ask for. I have also been given this incredible opportunity to really push myself and try something new at the school. I am working on my Spanish, and in the process helping a few young people work on their English.
All in all, I am just one lucky guy.
Do I miss baseball? A little.
But for now, I’m content right where I am.